I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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