So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This baby is an asshole
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
