yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
