I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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