is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
