Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
