I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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