I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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