were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
