and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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