...so i touched it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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