writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
