Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
