His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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