my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
