my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
