I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I love you. Go after that dick
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