There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
