He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize