Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
