I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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