was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
