i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize