We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he quoted the bible to break up with me
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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