I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize