So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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