Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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