Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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