he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
