ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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