I'm drive I can fine osifer
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
