1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize