I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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