I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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