i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
did i just pee glitter
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
