try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
