What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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