How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
