I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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