She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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