Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
