false alarm. still invincible.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
