hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
