At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
