When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
