I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
