i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
