like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
