pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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