btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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