PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
