wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
