if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
