I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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