This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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