I want to stick my p in your. b.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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