I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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