He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize