you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
