No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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