all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
