would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
